jbhart’s blog

I read CNN.com everyday, and everyday I get suckered into reading iReport, which is an interesting cross-section look at American discussions on nationwide events like; the bailout, the economic plan, and the latest debate. Recently iReport asked Americans to tell them what they have had to give up since the economy (slumped, failed, took a down-turn) slipped. I gave it some thought and yes, I have had to make some changes since money has gotten tighter, but life hasn't gotten any worse...in fact in some ways I think it's gotten better.

1. Food - O.k., so I have been unable to go out to eat as much anymore, with the cost of food going up restaurants have had to raise prices which have in turn caused people to eat at home more. I work part time in a restaurant for what used to be recreational spending money, but has now turned into grocery money. I have noticed my tip averages going down as well as the amount of customers coming into our little pizza joint. When I go out to dinner now it is usually for some occasion (birthday, date, reunion with a friend) and no longer because "I just don't feel like cooking tonight". Though I still have my days when I'm too tired or have too much studying to do to cook, and in this aspect I am lucky, I work for a pizzeria, I get an employee discount, and my boss is liberal with free pizza slices towards the end of shift, which means if I'm really desperate I have a place to grab some good, hot, comfort food on the days I can't bear to turn on the oven.
Why I'm lucky: aside from the above-mentioned cheap hand-outs from work I'm also a great cook, I taught myself and I do very little half-assed. I also have friends who are in the same boat I am, so what do I do?  Dinner parties! It costs very little to make a huge pot of chicken soup, rice and beans, curry, roast chicken, spaghetti and sauce or any of a thousand other recipes. My friends always ask what they can contribute, whether it be a bottle of wine, vegetables or meat for the pot we always have a good hearty meal, some alcohol and great conversation, and these fun times occur more than just once a month. I feel extremely lucky to have friends and that I can break bread with them frequently, keeps me grounded, keeps our belly's full and our minds sharp

2. Gas - Finally prices have started to drop around here, at the beginning of last month gas was hovering near the $4 mark, this morning I saw gas for $3.31 down the road from the office, I know where I'll be stopping on my way home tonight! 2 1/2 years ago my "high performance" car (VW Jetta) rolled over and died, with only 60k on the speedometer and more than a few thousand dollars left on the car I was left with no choice to buy a newer, cheaper car and roll what was due on the Jetta into the new car, I was terrified, but it had to be done, so i got the new car, drove off the lot and hoped it was a good decision.
Why I'm lucky: The car I got was a new 2006 Honda Civic, and at least once a week i am asked the question "so, how do you like your car" to which I reply "I couldn't be happier. She's great on gas mileage (even on a bad tank, i.e. local driving, she gets 36 mpg) I have only had to replace the front brakes, once, in the entire time I've had her (with the Jetta I always had to replace BOTH sets of brakes every 2 years at least), tires are in excellent condition and my kayak (my outdoor, zero bio-footprint, warm weather sport) fits INSIDE the car, so no wind resistance which means my gas mileage doesn't change.

3. Housing - I made a move this year, I am officially paying more for rent than I ever have before in my life. From paying $555/ mo. last year at this time I am now paying $1300/ mo., that's almost 3 x's the amount...ouch! As housing prices slump, and homes are being foreclosed on rents have gone up (law of supply and demand), and though I actually got a great deal in my area (most decent 1 bedrooms in nice towns in Westchester start around $1500/ mo.) a lot of folks in this country are finding it hard just to pay rent or meet their mortgage payments if they have been laid off, rates have increased, or life has just "happened".
Why I'm lucky: Yeah, I pay more in rent than a good portion in this country makes in a month, I'm lucky. I am by all accounts middle class (except where I live, where I am considered near poverty level, if you look at mean incomes) , sure I pay as much as many homeowners pay on a mortgage in the Midwestern states, but I am comfortable. I pay less than an entire bi-weekly paycheck, I am in a safe, small, quiet little town on the river. I have a patio, ground level, which means no stairs, AND I can grown herbs, vegetables, plants, grill my food and eat outdoors. PLUS I have outdoor space to store the kayak. Heat and hot water are included in my rent, laundry, though not in the same building is in the same complex in the building across the parking lot, and I'm allowed to have my cats.

4. Jobs - Cutbacks, layoffs, banks closing, everywhere you look it seems another 1,000 or so people are joining the growing ranks of the unemployed. Career outlooks are bleak, people are being forced to take on 2nd, sometimes 3rd jobs, if they can find them, just to help with raising commodity prices because they don't make enough at their regular jobs.
Why I'm lucky: I have a job, and for as far as we can see our jobs here at my company aren't going away anytime soon, that's a relief, I think...I also work my 2nd job, as I said above, which helps when the checking account runs dry I know that I will have at least a few extra bucks coming my way on Friday. I also just had an interview, I wasn't even looking, so that gives me hope that maybe not everyone is doing so badly, and maybe a few companies out there are turning a profit, instead of rolling over.

5. Pets - They seem insignificant, but my heart breaks every time I hear another story of a family forced out of their home and another pet has been left behind. I could yell and scream and carry-on saying "why have a pet when you can't afford one?", "why would you just abandon an animal that loves you?", but it would be like throwing stones into a bottomless pit, for all the effort I'm not going to accomplish a thing. These people are Bush's legacy, they are the working middle-class poor who tried to keep up with the Joneses. Have a nice car or two, a cute house with a white-picket fence, 2.5 kids, the American dream. But one day dad comes home and his company has laid him and 999 of his friends and co-workers off, mom is now the main bread winner and the family tries to hold onto their house on one salary, a car is repossessed, Sally and Bobby can't go to sleep away camp this summer, dad cooks dinner every night, Fido and Fluffy get generic food instead of the healthy stuff because there just isn't enough left over. Then one day, mom comes home, the bank she worked for is closing 500 branches, and hers is one of them, but they offer her and few other of her co-workers a job in another city, where the company will find a two bedroom apartment for the family to rent, only stipulation...no pets. So mom, dad, Sally and Bobby pack up the house one day and leave, hopefully they had enough love in their hearts to find homes for Fluffy and Fido, even if it was just at the shelter. But sometimes even the nicest families make bad decisions and they instead leave the door to their old dream home open  when they leave and hope for the best. Most people don't intend to abandon their pets, it's not something they imagine the day they bring that new puppy or kitten home, but life and the economy and landlords can be cruel. Sometimes people get so low that just holding their own heads up is next to impossible and the quietest ones are forgotten about. My only solace in these tragedies is that organizations like the ASPCA find and help these lost and abandoned animals and find homes for them or at the very least give them shelter and food and comfort when they have lost their humans.
Why I am lucky: all of my friends are animal lovers, and though it would take me own death for me to abandon my animals, I know that if something tragic were to happen that they will be well cared for. I extremely lucky to have and love my fur-babies and  hope that all of those out there who were abandoned or forgotten may they find their forever homes.

Class is almost over *sniff*, o.k. Jen, get a grip on yourself.

This was my first semester back in school, well, first semester in grad school anyway. I was a bit nervous the first time I walked into class to see new faces and wondering just what the heck I was getting my self into.

I had graduated with my undergrad 7 years prior and had only taken a couple of computer programming courses in between. I'd searched for a long time (almost 3 years) before finally deciding on the New School. I think it was serendipitous, the timing of finding the school and applying and getting accepted. I believe I had reached a new level of maturity and was finally ready to do what I'd been trying for so long.

But this isn't only about me, it's about the class itself. I think Virgil as a professor opened up my eyes again to the wonder and excitement I used to feel about Video and Design. When I was in my undergrad and during the few years after I loved video editing and couldn't wait to try my hands at web design and Flash. I was even jealous of my friends who worked in the creative industry who knew these programs and I'd never had the chance to learn. As I became more and more a corporate drone and was less and less creatively stimulated I found that I had a hard time relating to creative outlets anymore. I even stopped enjoying editing which had been my passion for so long. This class finally brought my joy back.

Another bright spot of the class was Carolina, our TA, who always had good advice and took great notes that helped when we were struggling to figure out Flash. She was there every Saturday with a smile on her face and I looked forward to our few minutes of chatting before class started.

I'm going to miss my Saturday morning classes, my relaxing train ride with a hot cup of coffee and some reading material, my new found friends (whom I hope to keep in contact with) and Virgil's energy (which seems boundless). I know I have many more classes to look forward to, but for an introduction to the courses of this school, I have to say I think I made the right choice.

O.k., so this is the second time in 2 weeks that I've rescued a sick, injured or lost animal.

Please understand, I don't mind this as I love animals, furry, feathered, scaly or otherwise, in fact I have a tendency to spout that I like animals better than most humans, but I digress.

so, today I'm at my desk in my office when two of my co-workers come over to me and tell me I should look out our kitchen window. so I get up and go with them to the kitchen to look out at our ledge. Now understand we are on the second floor of a corporate building that is only two stories tall and we have a ledge that has about a three foot wall that goes around our office. So I look out and there, struggling to walk, is a baby goose. The boys (my coworkers Brian and Simon) were outside having a smoke when they watched this little guy (and I assume it's a boy because only a boy would be this dumb) took a header off the roof over our building (which is approximately a 10 - 12 foot drop) and landed on our little ledge. So, of course I panic, thinking this poor thing is going to starve or end up lunch for some stupid crow. So I run back to my desk and call maintenance. And I wait. 30 minutes later still no one is here. By now  the little thing has made it about half way around our building but keeps getting his little feet stuck in the grating. So I grab my co-worker Brian, and drag him outside with me, turns out we have access to the ledge. Brian hesitates, so I run inside and grab Simon as well. We grab a  box lid and Brian reluctantly ventures onto the (not so safe looking) ledge to get our little peeping fellow. We bring him inside and I wait for maintenance to show up. Here's a pic of our office mascot for the day:

A few minutes later maintenance arrives and Simon gets up on the roof (reluctant humanitarian that he is) and sends baby back to his parents, who promptly chase Simon off the roof. We did our good deed for the day. Baby is safe and I got to have close contact with nature in need, yet again.

This is my next book to read, I found this quote by Ayn Rand from a 1964 interview with Playboy magazine (see, some people read it for the stories) regarding society of the time.

"What we have today is not a capitalist society, but a mixed economy – that is, a mixture of freedom and controls, which, by the presently dominant trend, is moving toward dictatorship. The action in Atlas Shrugged takes place at a time when society has reached the stage of dictatorship. When and if this happens, that will be the time to go on strike, but not until then,"

Makes one think then, doesn't it?

Just my thoughts for the day.

Go out, read a book, plant a tree, think free...

I had to read this book for my Foundation in Media Design class, and although it wouldn't have been something that leaped off the shelf at me in a bookstore, I still really enjoyed it.

This is a very hard book to give a review on, since to concept of Wabi Sabi itself is very hard to grasp, (even by Japanese standards), the language itself is quite remarkable. I love books, especially little simple ones that give a broader understanding to world and the society we live in.

I was a student of Japanese culture, studying the language, traditions and history for many years. This book brought an even greater understanding to one of the simplest yet most intricate ceremonies in Japanese culture, that of the Tea Ceremony or Sado/ Chado. I have had Sado performed for me once, in high school. My parents and I were hosting a young woman from Japan, named Hiroko, for 3 weeks in our home. She dressed in a simple Kimono, minus Obi, and performed a ceremony that was over an hour long. I was about 14 at the time and the thing I remember most was that the tea was a brilliant green and the little cakes were excellent. I remember watching her perform the ritual, her movements were so delicate and flowing, she never missed a beat in her performance and all the while she was explaining the history of the ceremony and our role as the "guests" at her service. She proved a wonderful hostess and to this day my mother and I still recall the tea ceremony when we think or speak of Hiroko.

Kurt Vonnegut died today, at age 84, I will mourn his passing as will many others who have read his novels and short stories.

Here is the news article from yahoo if you care to read: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070412/ap_on_re_us/obit_vonnegut

I admit my love hate relationship with Vonnegut, I started really getting into him the year my father died and made the unfortunate mistake of really overdoing it. When I finally finished "Breakfast of Champions" I made a vow to give it a good rest. So, it's been about 8 years, maybe I'll go ahead and pick-up Timequake and try to read it again.

Among other things that have really made a dent in my week my brand new iMac

started giving me trouble last night, o.k., it really wasn't the iMac but my damn Final Cut Express. Now, I have been working in Final Cut for years and there is no good reason that my sound should have just failed to work last night. I checked every setting under the sun and still could not get the fucking sound to work. I mean, c'mon, brand new computer, brand new, factory installed program, WTF? The wave forms are there, the levels are running, but alas, no sound from the speakers. And yes, the computer DOES ahve sound (I tried my iTunes and iMovie and both play sound very well). So, now I'm just completely stumped. I guess I will be giving Apple care a call this evening, that is AFTER I post for my Theory class and AFTER I do more reading for Theory (this class is driving me nuts, I can't wait until it's over). Ahhh, the joys of grad school, I think I will go bang my head against a concrete wall right now.

Piercing the Silence – Intimate Moments with Henri Cartier-Bresson

The subjects of Henri Cartier-Bresson’s photographs are most often caught unawares by the photographer. As Bresson attempts to capture what he calls “the inner silence of the consenting victim” he ends up portraying intimate moments in time.

Bresson studied painting before picking up his first camera. He was trained during the Surrealist movement, as is evident by the weight of his subjects in many of his photos. Bresson’s photographs most often have a familiarity to them that is often times highlighted by his use (understanding) of lighting technique and composition of the frame. Take for instance his photographs from his scrapbook, which portray the late Matisse at home with his doves. Note the stark contrast of the three white doves in the foreground against the darker background where Matisse sits holding another dove as he sketches it in his notebook. Then take notice of the room itself, the intersecting and dividing lines of the room (the bars of the birdcages, the chair, the table, the window frame), the hard shadows and fast falloff all complete a dynamic picture of an otherwise calm moment with the artist. The studium of this photograph is the act of Matisse drawing; it is such a quiet moment in the photograph’s history. The punctum is what touches me; it is the frailty of the aging Matisse which brings on empathy. His house coat, his scarf, the checkered pants he wears, even the hat he has on his head all turn him from just a subject, to a person in time. Here he is, naturally human and casually himself.

The next photo that caught my attention in the show was of the group of young boys playing a game in front of a white wall in Madrid. The wall behind them appears to belong to some great building and has tiny little windows scattered across it’s face. Search as I might I could make out no discernable pattern for the windows to follow. There seemed to be no psychological closure as I attempted to count the number of floors, or rooms in the ominous structure. Meanwhile my eye rests on the boys, huddled at different corners of the photograph as if the frame is drawing them to the lower right and left hand sides. The studium of the shot is the boys themselves, playing their game, laughing, unawares of the world around them. The punctum appears just behind the boy on the left hand side, there sitting, watching the camera is another little boy, one not involved in the game, scowling, for only me to see.

The last photo of Bresson I wish to discuss is from his Mexico series, the photo of the single painted woman. What struck me as most bizarre about this photo at first was I didn’t know where the woman was in relationship to her background. Her upper torso seemed to just float in mid-air with no foreground or background to situate her in the shot. It wasn’t until closer scrutiny did I realize that she was standing in a hole cut into the door. Because the woman is off center   and the door itself actually frames her through symmetry she becomes a dynamic focus of our attention. The woman is the studium of the shot, she is what we are watching and looking at, and in turn she looks right back at us. It is the punctum of this photo that made me uneasy . In the photo we understand that the woman is fully aware of the camera, yet her smile appears forced and awkward, making her expression almost unnatural. It is because of this look that I am pulled out of the world of Bresson’s silence and begin to wonder who is the woman and why is she there?

Though I do not hope to compare my work by any means with Bresson’s I did notice a few similarities as well as many striking differences between our styles and compositions. While I believe some of our photos share a similar weight, in fact I tried quite often to keep my subjects from being in the absolute center of the frame, as is evident in my the shot of my subject’s hand on the sheet or even her walking up the stairs on the porch. I many times chose the sides, corners or even top of the frame to gravitate my subject towards as a way to make the shot more dynamic and less stagnant. Bresson does this similarly with most of his photographs, the studium, or action of the photo appearing at the top, or bottom, or either side of the frame. With these similarities in mind I must admit that it is the harsh comparison to Bresson’s art to mine that make me take such notice of his work. Whereas I posed my subjects in almost ever shot, such as one would do in a studio setting, Bresson’s subjects were free, they had their natural world around them to live in. I was trying to capture lighting technique and composition, Bresson was just capturing life. While I made my attempts at photographing what I saw, Bresson photographed what he felt; an intimate moment trapped in time, or maybe perhaps just a piece of inner silence for the viewer to contemplate.

For my faceless portrait I chose my girlfriend, Ilana, as my subject. Unfortunately, she has had the flu most of the week and a good portion of our photo shoot was done in her bedroom, on the flip side it forced me to be creative with my lighting and composition techniques.

I had a lot of fun with this shoot, although I wish I'd had time to shoot outside (with two jobs I rarely see sunlight in the winter), it was interesting to come up with my own lighting and staged compositions. Although course my subject knew I was photographing her (I posed her for many of the shots), there was still instances where I managed to get some great shots that were "in the moment", specifically as she was walking up the stairs to her house.

One of my favorite shots of the whole group is the Chiaroscuro modeled shot of Ilana's tattoos (she sports two astronomy signs on her back; Cancer and Cassiopeia). It was tricky lighting this in the starkness of her mostly unfurnished, white-walled room, but I managed to use a candle and a kicker I created (using a desklamp with tin-foil) to mimic the organic lighting effect.

In all this was a great assignment, I had some problems getting a couple of shots, but in all after doing the reading I have a better understanding of the techniques and compositions mentioned in the book because of it.

"Cigarette maker Philip Morris recently spent $2 million on domestic violence programs nationally and $108 million on the advertising campaign to tell us about it. Tobacco can't be advertised on TV, but tobacco makers' token support of good causes can."

Here is an interesting article relating to our in-class assignment for this week: http://www.alternet.org/story/10129/

For everyone out there who has ever moved, I want to express my deepest sympathies and congratulations.

I have been moving for t he past 2 weeks now, coupled with working two jobs and the advent of grad school I thoroughly believe that I am certifiably insane.

I actually took a day off of work yesterday to do LAUNDRY, of all things, most people take sickies (Aussie term for staying home when you aren't really sick) to go to the beach, sleep in, watch a Stargate SG-1 marathon, but me? No, I work, I clean, I do laundry, I move BOXES (I swear if I have to lug one more 80 lb. object up 2 flights of stairs I will scream). O.k., enough complaining, I did this to myself, I knew what I was getting into.

 I do have to admit, I have pretty great friends though. My girlfriend, Toni, is the one who let me move in with her ( I looked for months for a new place but prices in this area right now are astronomical for an "apartment" that is either a shit hole or the size of a closet), my other girlfriends Nina and Ilana both helped me pack and move as well as volunteering their boyfriends to help as well (mucho thanks to Dave and Brian) and lastly I can't forget Izi and his wife Lisa for being at my place at 10AM, helping me get the U-haul, driving it, packing more boxes (who knew one woman in a studio apartment could have so much stuff?), and just generally keeping me sane. If it weren't for the pizza and beer I don't think any of us would've survived.

O.k., I'm done ranting now, back to work, the apartment is almost empty except for a few odds and ends to picked up this week, then I'm done, I'm out of there and life can resume as normal...maybe.